“Who gives a shit if you don’t finish college. Who gives a shit if you marry young. Who gives a shit if you go against everything your parents want. Do what makes YOU happy. And don’t you dare give a shit about what anybody else thinks.”—(via mynameispride)
“Someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.”—(via 1112pm)
“I go through phases. Somedays I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then somedays, I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me.”—Mary Kate Teske (via fawun)
“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””—
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
“It’s bullshit to think of friendship and romance as being different. They’re not. They’re just variations of the same love. Variations of the same desire to be close.”—Rachel Cohn, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List (via feellng)
“I understand. That’s the trouble. I understand. I’ll understand all the time. All day and all night. Especially all night. I’ll understand. You don’t have to worry about that.”—Ernest Hemingway, Winner Take Nothing (via larmoyante)
“It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling— that really hollowed-out feeling.”—J.K. Rowling (via carving-trees)
“Many people believe every age marks something significant, that you should accomplish a certain something by a certain time. Your first kiss, losing your virginity, getting married. Learning to drive, knowing what you want to be, succeeding in your goals. But that’s not true. Let things just happen. Make sure you’re ready. Stay wise. Give yourself time to develop. There is no rush to live.”—Unknown (via perfect)
“1. It’s okay
2. Really, just breathe
3. Your hair is a mess. And it looks sexy as fuck.
4. Do your nails. That new polish you bought last week is waiting.
5. Message her. Do not let that awkward silence last any longer.
6. Clean your desk.
7. Turn off the music at some point. Lie down and relax. Don’t think. Just be.
8. Look up some recipes and cook something nice tomorrow.
9. Say thanks more often.
10. You don’t have to ace everything you do.
11. Baby steps. Baby steps.
12. Turn on the ac at max power and wear a hoodie and pull on your sleeves if you miss it. Feel safe.
13. Your body is fine.
14. Your body is fine.
15. We all make mistakes. Forgive.
16. Studying is important, but what is really important is learning.
17. To learn, live.
18. To live, stop holding back. Fuck everything and just give it a try. Do not live with the regret of not trying. That is not living.
19. It’s okay to believe in love, and have faith, and not lose it even if everything around you is breaking down. Even if it hurts.
20. Depending on others is okay. Not doing it is okay as well.”—20 things I needed to remember today. (via a-ionia)